No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
