Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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