the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The adults are the big ones right?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
