either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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