Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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