people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
