I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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