Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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