at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
