Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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