we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
