I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
