if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
