butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize