i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
