I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
