Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
