is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
