At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize