If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I have grass duct taped all over my body
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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