She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
