one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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