"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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