so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
