literally had 100 drinks last night.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
