Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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