I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
