dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
