Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
