They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
