We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
