You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
