I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
