I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
