As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
