I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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