I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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