mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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