So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
