Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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