you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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