how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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