she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
