hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
where does the pee come out of this thing
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize