Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
