somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
