So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
