guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
