I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
