morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
