Nicole vs. Life
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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