Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
