Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
