Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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