return my video game
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize