I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
