Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
