This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
