i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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