Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
