nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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