Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
